A Pandemic Pregnancy

Pregnancy is hard. I will be the first to tell you, there was not a single day I felt that "glow." While it's not easy nor glamorous, it is worth it.

My mission here is to be real with you and how else to do that then to share my raw experience in what might have been one of the toughest times in history to be pregnant.

First Trimester

All I can say is the beginning was rough. I can't stress that enough. While I didn't have the typical "morning sickness," I had what felt like the constant need to throw up while not actually being able to. I found this to be so much worse. It was uncomfortable and unappetizing. On top of that, I had major migraines that forced me to remain in a dark room with ice packs on my head for hours a day. The funny thing about the first trimester is how ridiculously awful you feel 24/7, yet the constant need to hide it from the world until you're "in the clear."

My first appointment to verify the pregnancy was so intimidating. Since I live in a foreign country and this was my first time being pregnant, I had no idea what to expect. While it was all routine and straight to the point, I was still completely shocked when I saw that small little thing on the ultrasound machine. Looking back, I can't even describe my feelings and emotions at the time. It was a special moment that my husband and I shared together before the excitement of telling our families and friends.

Sharing the news with our families was so special! Living on the other side of the wold from my family during such a special time was difficult so I made telling my sisters extra special. With the help of my mom, we made my sisters gifts to tell them the news, got them all together while they opened them and I watched via Facetime. Their reactions were priceless. The first grandchild in the family is something special and it's a video I will cherish forever!

As my husband's family lives here in Germany, we were able to make them little cards to open as well. The tears that were shed were so special and we really were so overwhelmed by love and support from the very first day. The excitement of a new baby entering the family was contagious and this was only the beginning of the journey!

Second Trimester

The second trimester brought a new wardrobe. I quickly grew out of my pants and found anything but sweat pants or no pants to be ridiculously uncomfortable. I felt like I was eating like a cow and gaining weight by the second. While my family reassured me that I looked great, I felt far from it. I thought that when the second trimester came around, I would be feeling much more refreshed and "glowing," but that was not the case.

Working two jobs and raising a puppy really took a toll on my energy levels. I found that I never really got that burst of energy they speak of in the second trimester. I walked back and forth from work, took the dog on at least 4 walks a day, and still kept up with a social life. My husband's help through it all was an amazing support system. Special thanks for not judging me for falling asleep on the couch at 8 pm every evening.

It was during the end of the second trimester that we took a trip home to California for Christmas. The eleven-hour flight was exhausting. To avoid blood clots in my legs, I was drinking more water than ever before and walking around the plane every half hour. The whole thing was worth it. We celebrated our baby girl with our friends and family with the most beautiful baby shower. I loved having the opportunity for my family to share a small part of this pregnancy with me. It was the refill I needed to get through the last trimester.

Third Trimester

The third trimester comes with its own unique set of challenges. On top of the growing weight on my body each week, I was also feeling more tired than ever before. By this time, everything hurts, from my head to my toes. Luckily, I was able to solely work from home around 34 weeks. I was just ready to be done. Plain and simple.

In March 2020, our world was turned upside-down. In my 36th week of pregnancy, the Coronavirus hit Germany. Literally overnight, I was faced with the possibility that my family would not be able to travel from the US to Germany for the birth. The day before the borders closed between Europe and the US, my mom bought a ticket and hopped on a plane managing to get here in the last second.

We quarantined for a month and quickly realized that my dad nor my sisters would be able to make it. However, having my mom there was more than I could have asked for during such a difficult time. In the last weeks, I was going to my doctor's appointments alone and preparing our apartment for the baby to arrive. We played an endless amount of games, did puzzles, took walks, and many naps. My due date came and passed, and we were left waiting for what felt like ages.

In the end, I would say that the pandemic made everything difficult and much more stressful. I had a constant fear that I would get sick and be separated from my baby when she was born. I was scared my husband would get sick and not be allowed into the hospital at all. I was scared for my family back home who didn't even have a clue what was about to hit them. This pandemic turned what was supposed to be a relaxing and stressfree time into the most nerve-wracking weeks of my life.

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My heart goes out to everyone affected by this pandemic.

To the kids that missed graduations, proms, and first semesters of college: I feel you.

To the mamas to be who continue to attend those ultrasound appointments solo: I feel you.

To the families adjusting to. anew normal of distance learning: I feel you.

To the hospital staff, grocery store workers, doctors, pharmacists, delivery drivers, and the many more who continue to work when we needed them most: I thank you.

To the mamas laboring alone in a facemask: YOU ARE AMAZING.

This year will forever be the year from hell. It will be the year written about in history books and studied for centuries to come. It will forever be known as the year that changed everything. But let us not forget what came from this pandemic: EMPATHY.

2020 will always be known to me as the year I became a mama and for that, I am forever grateful.